Thursday, July 22, 2010

there's gotta be a support group for this...

fios is in the process of being installed in our house today. the house awoke to no internet. the soldier woke up in a panic, accosted the teacher of 'tards inquiring as to where our beloved internet had gone, before they both scampered off in search of their beloved internet at their respective work places. i was not in fear of the switching process as i have mobile broadband, thus by effectively never being out of touch with my beloved one.

text at 835: IS THE INTERNET BACK ON!?


abouts 10am the russian spy wanders into the living room (where i was sitting in front of the non-working tv, where my bongos mock me mercilessly, a huge look of confusion on her face:

"uh, where's the internet?" i explain the situation and she overly-dramatically goes


and for the next 3 hours i have to hear the russian spy complain, beg, plead for the internet to return.

i thought she was going to kiss the fios guy when he finally arrived.

then the soldier comes home, flies in "IS IT BACK ON?!" the spy checks, announces it is, the soldier responds "OHHHH THANK GODDD!" and all was right with the world, cause god forbid we actually have to, ya know, interact with each other.

i fear for my own mental health sometimes.

my lovely roomies bought me bongos for my birthday. i've only asked for them for about 23 birthday's before & this year i finally got them. i put them on the mantle in the living room. i want to play them every time i see them (which is a lot since i spend A LOT of time in front of the tv that is also on the mantle.) i as yet have not played them. why, you may ask? because if i take them off the mantle, even for a few minutes, the mantle will not be balanced. then, i'd have to get something to place where the bongos previously were in order for my OCD to not kick in. if my OCD kicks in, i won't be able to play said bongos because i have to rearrange the mantle. if i start to rearrange the mantle then my ADD will kick in and somehow THE ENTIRE LIVING ROOM will be arranged, the mantle will be unbalanced, and my bongos will still not have been played.

so the only solution is that i'll continue to stare at the bongos and allow the roomies to think their gift was in vain.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010


roomie that is not a spy (the soldier): "i need your legal expertise."

gypsy: "i don't really have legal expertise...unless someone has been raped in prison & in that case i do. has someone been raped in prison?!!"

non-spy: "......*blank look*......"

gypsy: "yeah, i don't even know sometimes."

sleep with one eye open, holding our pillow tights

a few years back there used to be a blog called the incredibly true misadventures of the gypsy & the jew. this was the roommate blog for me (the gypsy) & one of my roomies (the jew). occasionally there would be a guest appearance by the ruskie (the other roomie). when we went our separate ways in 2008 the blog went the wayside.

only now, now, the ruskie is back. she has moved in with me, and our 2 other roomies. we, as a whole, are convinced she is a spy, a russian spy to be exact. the evidence is a'plenty & it continues to mount on a day to day basis. today, i came home to find she had renamed my dog (formerly known as tucker) to sputnick. sorry, that should say spootnick (which is the way she pronounces it, the proper russian spy way).

when she first moved in ( a week before the REAL russian spy that lived in her building was arrested) she asked me to start the blog again. initially i refused. but now, now that she HAS THREATENED MY LIFE (something about "judo" she learned with putin & me knowing too much), i have decided to start this again as a record of my findings. also, so that i can give a big "I KNEW IT ALLLLL ALONG" when they finally come & take her away (which will hopefully happen after the lease has ended because she does, afterall, pay 1/4 of my rent).

also, because there is a huge amount of jackassery & shenanigans that abound in this house and i cannot update my facebook status constantly to reflect it all.

so, for all 2 of you that will read this (hi kojew! &...other person who may read this...), enjoy.